My intuition was buried under a ton of “shoulds.” Learning to listen to what feels right and acting on it is so frightening at first, but it gets easier.
After watching some nature documentaries, I have been amazed at the instincts animals have to do things. They just know. They listen to their body.
As humans, with our intellect, how often do we reject our instinct and listen to our brains.
Our brains have obviously done a lot of good, but we have done plenty to mess up the world four ourselves (and the animals, too).
Hello from a fellow eldest daughter trying to learn how to make my own decisions confidently at the age of 37. Does being “parentified” include being steered (lovingly) by somewhat overbearing parents who taught me my own judgment couldn’t be trusted?
Hi Shayna! Such a good question. Parentification could apply here if you were expected to behave "like an adult" to various degrees when you were still a kid. I actually have a free download on Parentification if you want to get a better understanding: https://www.luztraumatherapy.com/understanding-parentification
Wow, I definitely suffer from this. I woke up this year, after going through hell (as in I had a massive transformation) I realized that I was living my life in a way I didn‘t even want. Living in a place I didn‘t love, jobs I didn‘t enjoy, spending too much time with people that were draining me. I think I didn‘t know this didn‘t have to be this way. Suddenly I was like „You can actually make changes, you can live how YOU want to and not according to your partners or family‘s wishes.“ Insane how you don‘t realize when you are in it and afterwards it is crystal clear!
Zuzu, I am happy to hear you are on the other side of it! Thank you for sharing a bit about your story as I'm sure it will inspire others. Do you have any questions or content requests on intuition or creating a life on your terms? I'm happy to do a follow up article!
Came for the cool hat, stayed for the words! Thank you for sharing. It can be a learning curve to check back in with that gut feeling after suppressing it for so long.
This really resonated with me as someone who was given too much responsibility as a child and became a people pleaser. A healer asked me what I like to do and I froze because I was unable to answer the question. I’ve been on a healing journey and am now sharing my personal stories of listening to my intuition to hopefully motivate others to tap in more.
I’ve explored so many different healing modalities over the years—which I think really helps me support others. Everyone’s intuitive language is a little different, so having lots of tools in the tool belt makes a big difference.
I'll share more about this soon, but after leaving a marriage with a narcissist, I was given the unexpected gift of time. During that turbulent chapter, I shut my brain off and tried something unconventional: I let my new partner make decisions when we were together, just to give my nervous system a break.
Once the long divorce process ended, Covid lockdown offered me a deeper pause. I began to meditate—and that practice was accelerated by sitting with plant medicine. I did traditional talk therapy too, but some of my most profound healing came through an organic path of self-discovery.
In meditation, I started spending time with my younger self, imagining what it would feel like to offer her the care I didn’t receive from the adults in my life. Most recently, I’ve been working with energy healing and more mystical practices to strengthen my connection with my higher self.
My path has been winding, imperfect, and exactly what I needed. It took time—but I believe that the insights I’ve gained can help others heal more quickly.
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm sorry you went through that, and I'm so glad you are reconnecting with yourself now that you are on the other side of it. I love younger self visualizations, I even visualize chatting with my older self sometimes! I'm also a huge fan of all things mystical. I hope you continue to share to help others 😊
What if you are an old man in recovery? Detached from emotions. Intellectualizing. Anhedonia. And nothing to anchor me, like anything, hobby, job, desire, want, need. Just curious. Somehow my substsck algorithm is dramatically female oriented.
Thanks for sharing this, I appreciate your honesty. Your curiosity can become an anchor even when intuition feels distant or emotions are muted. Intuition isn't always emotional; it can also be felt in subtle body reactions and responses. I'd guess your intuition might already be quietly guiding you, first into recovery and then toward unexpected Substack articles!
This was so good to hear, thank you so much!! Since starting therapy 2 months ago I have been really trying to embrace my intuition and get rid of that people pleasing attitude and at some points it seems exhausting and even now I know I still need to work on myself, but overall I can just say my life has improved so so much. I feel like I live so much more for myself now and have soo many ideas I want to try and most importantly am not scared anymore to try.
I am so happy to hear that you’ve been doing this work! Both you and the people you love will benefit so much from you not being scared to try out your ideas!
Steff, your article resonates with me on so many levels. I've been fortunate to work with a trauma therapist on parentification and enmeshment dynamics in the family of origin. The journey to reclaiming my intuition and learning to pay attention to my felt sense has been one of discomfort, yet one of freedom from old survival patterns and towards a new baseline of growth. As a recovering 'good girl', I'm still learning to honour my internal 'yes' and 'no'. As a trauma-informed professional, I found your references to neuroscience particularly educational and plan to read up further on those. Thank you for doing what you do! 🌿💫
Avril, thank you so much for reading this article! I appreciate hearing a bit about your journey. It's not a straightforward path, but it's so important we learn to honor ourselves.
Just to add, some of us may not feel intuition in the body as much or the gut feeling, but more in the sudden knowing because of neurological variations.
Thanks for such a great piece with actionable steps to reconnect. Breaking the people-pleasing habit is tough. I try to remember that I am a person that needs to be pleased as well.
Thank you, Steff, for this post. I am struggling with hearing my own intuition. I will try your practical steps. ✨
I’ve been there Selene 🙏🏼 I hope these tools are good starting point. If you have any questions let me know!
My intuition was buried under a ton of “shoulds.” Learning to listen to what feels right and acting on it is so frightening at first, but it gets easier.
After watching some nature documentaries, I have been amazed at the instincts animals have to do things. They just know. They listen to their body.
As humans, with our intellect, how often do we reject our instinct and listen to our brains.
Our brains have obviously done a lot of good, but we have done plenty to mess up the world four ourselves (and the animals, too).
I agree! It's so helpful to remember that we are animals, so we should also listen to our bodies!
Hello from a fellow eldest daughter trying to learn how to make my own decisions confidently at the age of 37. Does being “parentified” include being steered (lovingly) by somewhat overbearing parents who taught me my own judgment couldn’t be trusted?
Hi Shayna! Such a good question. Parentification could apply here if you were expected to behave "like an adult" to various degrees when you were still a kid. I actually have a free download on Parentification if you want to get a better understanding: https://www.luztraumatherapy.com/understanding-parentification
Wow, I definitely suffer from this. I woke up this year, after going through hell (as in I had a massive transformation) I realized that I was living my life in a way I didn‘t even want. Living in a place I didn‘t love, jobs I didn‘t enjoy, spending too much time with people that were draining me. I think I didn‘t know this didn‘t have to be this way. Suddenly I was like „You can actually make changes, you can live how YOU want to and not according to your partners or family‘s wishes.“ Insane how you don‘t realize when you are in it and afterwards it is crystal clear!
Zuzu, I am happy to hear you are on the other side of it! Thank you for sharing a bit about your story as I'm sure it will inspire others. Do you have any questions or content requests on intuition or creating a life on your terms? I'm happy to do a follow up article!
Thanks! Im always interested in the subject “i tuitions vs. Anxiety” and how to tell them apart.
Came for the cool hat, stayed for the words! Thank you for sharing. It can be a learning curve to check back in with that gut feeling after suppressing it for so long.
Also I still regret not buying that hat 😂
yay I’m so glad you found this helpful! Yes we can get conditioned out of trusting ourselves, but we can also relearn how to do it!
Thank you for this! I’m appreciating your clear definition of intuition and the concrete steps you offer to reconnect with it. Excellent article.
I’m so happy to hear that! If there’s any specific support or steps you’d like to see in the future let me know!
This really resonated with me as someone who was given too much responsibility as a child and became a people pleaser. A healer asked me what I like to do and I froze because I was unable to answer the question. I’ve been on a healing journey and am now sharing my personal stories of listening to my intuition to hopefully motivate others to tap in more.
My experiences have been similar! I'm so glad you are finding your way back to yourself. Have any types of healing modalities been extra helpful?
I’ve explored so many different healing modalities over the years—which I think really helps me support others. Everyone’s intuitive language is a little different, so having lots of tools in the tool belt makes a big difference.
I'll share more about this soon, but after leaving a marriage with a narcissist, I was given the unexpected gift of time. During that turbulent chapter, I shut my brain off and tried something unconventional: I let my new partner make decisions when we were together, just to give my nervous system a break.
Once the long divorce process ended, Covid lockdown offered me a deeper pause. I began to meditate—and that practice was accelerated by sitting with plant medicine. I did traditional talk therapy too, but some of my most profound healing came through an organic path of self-discovery.
In meditation, I started spending time with my younger self, imagining what it would feel like to offer her the care I didn’t receive from the adults in my life. Most recently, I’ve been working with energy healing and more mystical practices to strengthen my connection with my higher self.
My path has been winding, imperfect, and exactly what I needed. It took time—but I believe that the insights I’ve gained can help others heal more quickly.
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm sorry you went through that, and I'm so glad you are reconnecting with yourself now that you are on the other side of it. I love younger self visualizations, I even visualize chatting with my older self sometimes! I'm also a huge fan of all things mystical. I hope you continue to share to help others 😊
What if you are an old man in recovery? Detached from emotions. Intellectualizing. Anhedonia. And nothing to anchor me, like anything, hobby, job, desire, want, need. Just curious. Somehow my substsck algorithm is dramatically female oriented.
Thanks for sharing this, I appreciate your honesty. Your curiosity can become an anchor even when intuition feels distant or emotions are muted. Intuition isn't always emotional; it can also be felt in subtle body reactions and responses. I'd guess your intuition might already be quietly guiding you, first into recovery and then toward unexpected Substack articles!
This was so good to hear, thank you so much!! Since starting therapy 2 months ago I have been really trying to embrace my intuition and get rid of that people pleasing attitude and at some points it seems exhausting and even now I know I still need to work on myself, but overall I can just say my life has improved so so much. I feel like I live so much more for myself now and have soo many ideas I want to try and most importantly am not scared anymore to try.
I am so happy to hear that you’ve been doing this work! Both you and the people you love will benefit so much from you not being scared to try out your ideas!
Dear Steff,
Brilliant.
With gratitude,
Thank you Rodrigo, I'm glad it resonated with you!
Steff, your article resonates with me on so many levels. I've been fortunate to work with a trauma therapist on parentification and enmeshment dynamics in the family of origin. The journey to reclaiming my intuition and learning to pay attention to my felt sense has been one of discomfort, yet one of freedom from old survival patterns and towards a new baseline of growth. As a recovering 'good girl', I'm still learning to honour my internal 'yes' and 'no'. As a trauma-informed professional, I found your references to neuroscience particularly educational and plan to read up further on those. Thank you for doing what you do! 🌿💫
Avril, thank you so much for reading this article! I appreciate hearing a bit about your journey. It's not a straightforward path, but it's so important we learn to honor ourselves.
Thank you♥️❤️♥️❤️
Just to add, some of us may not feel intuition in the body as much or the gut feeling, but more in the sudden knowing because of neurological variations.
That’s a great point! Has that been your experience?
Beautifully written piece Steff. Nice to come across your work here 😊
Thank you Dr. Vicki that means so much to me!
I tried this today after reading this last night and it worked! ✨ Low-medium stakes call - and I was spot on ❤️ thank you!
This makes me SO happy! The more we practice the easier it gets!
Thanks for such a great piece with actionable steps to reconnect. Breaking the people-pleasing habit is tough. I try to remember that I am a person that needs to be pleased as well.
Yes, you also deserve to be pleased! You are a person! I love this comment so much. Thank you for reading Amanda. <3